Articles Archives - Wed By Kez

What does a marriage celebrant do?

🤔What does a marriage celebrant do?🤔
That’s a good question. Marriage celebrants marry people.

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Ok, I won’t just stop there.😛
Marriage celebrants are appointed (not anointed although who doesn’t love a good dowsing with some petuli oil!?!🌺) by the Attorney General’s Office to perform marriage ceremonies in Australia, there’s a whole bunch of stuff already written on this here: https://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarri…/…/Pages/default.aspx

I’m not going to go into the history of it, because, quite frankly I have no interest in history and gave it up as soon as humanly possible in High School preferring to study Italian and media studies (I obviously desired to stay unemployed for my entire 20’s)

So we know what marriage celebrants do, how do they actually do it

1. Paperwork – not too much of it, but there is some. I’ll go into this in my next blog (Whats that you say, a sequel???!!)

2. The Marriage Ceremony – that’s the purpose of this blog. To explain what legally has to be said during the marriage ceremony.

Marriage ceremonies, the legal parts, are actually super short. In fact the least amount of time to get married would be around 2 minutes if you only did the parts you HAD to do.🕑

(So the next time you are at a wedding and an 1 hour and 45 minutes in feel free to stand up, “Boo!” and chuck rotten tomatoes.🍅🍅🍅)

So what you do have to say:

1. Both the parties full names, including the embarrassing middle names that everyone avoids using. Yep – even those have to be said. Either by the celebrant, or by you. Somewhere, sometime in the marriage ceremony before or part of the legal vows. You have to use the two peoples full name.

2. The celebrant has to explain marriage to the two people getting married. This is called the Monitum – this is the bit that used to say “man and woman” but now says “two people” because the government finally realised its 2018 and they were so far behind the majority of Australians and the rest of their world in their archaic thinking. 👭👬👫

3. Legal vows. Not lovey dovey 💕 ones but an actual legal statement that is laid out in the marriage act. Each person say the same line putting in their own name in the own name bit, and their partners name in the partners name bit. It goes like this I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse).

That’s it. That’s all the words that have to be in marriage ceremony.
🛑No “I do’s” not legally required,
🛑No “Who objects”or “who gives this woman” and certainly
🛑No mentions of God . He / She/ It does NOT have to appear at your wedding, in ANY way shape or form and if you are being told that by your celebrant, you are being told a lie!
🛑 No “love is patient, love is kind”
🛑 No readings of any kind,
🛑 No obey,
🛑 No bird throwing,
🛑 No Jennifer lopez wedding movie BS.

That doesn’t mean you cant have it if you want, but it means that you don’t have to feel the pressure to do ANYTHING other that what you are legally required to do.

Your wedding is yours to shape, own and express your love in a way that suits you. Tick the legal boxes and then have fun with the other stuff.

The most common mistake on the Notice of Intended Marriage; Advice from a celebrant

Helpful Advice from a Newcastle Marriage Celebrant
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As a Newcastle Celebrant with almost 500 weddings in her registry book, I gotta tell you almost 90% of couples make one simple mistake on the Notice of Intended Marriage and its to do with their Mother’s maiden name.

The first mistake is only putting their mother’s maiden surname (i.e. SMITH) and not including her first and middle names. (JANE DOE SMITH). After all the explanatory notes do say Mother’s maiden name in full

The second most common mistake is write their mother’s full married name.

As an example lets say the Brides name is BEYONCE RHIANNA WEST, bride’s dad name is KAYNE JAY-Z WEST and Mum and Dad are still married so Mum’s name is OPRAH MADONNA WEST. (Cool family huh?) but before Mum and Dad married Mum was OPRAH MADONNA CLINTON.

Often couples complete this section and put OPRAH MADONNA WEST when in fact they should have put OPRAH MADONNA CLINTON. Mum’s maiden name in full before she met and married KAYNE.

It is not complicated but forms can be confusing. If in doubt, always check with me first. I’m here to help – its a thing I do for all my couples.

 

Cold Fish at your wedding [and how to deal with them]

You might not know this, but as a celebrant Im often aware, sometimes not everyone is super happy that a couple are getting married.

These people, known as asses to some and cold fish by me, are generally all about ruining what should be a beautiful, loving moment in a couples life.

And I have seen the iciest of cold fish in my 400 + weddings.

Often, unfortunately, its someone close to either the bride or groom, [groom and groom or bride and bride] who objects to the wedding and generally has to have their resting-bitch-face or screwed-up-i-smell-poo nose on.

It can be as subtle as a Mum and Dad standing awkwardly to the side, keeping to themselves and not glowing with excitement, pride and love or as obvious as a “They didn’t come to the wedding”.

Sometimes, they come to the wedding cos they think that is what they are “supposed” to do. That’s it is “the right thing” when really they suck all the fun out of the ceremony/reception like a giant fun-sucking gnat that they are.

So here’s my tips on dealing with Cold Fish ahead of your big day.

Don’t be afraid to UNinvite someome. If they are truly only coming to cause you pain, anxiety or distress – save yourself the energy and some dough and strike a big, fat, permanent marker line through their name.

Talk to them before the wedding. You want to be gentle but firm – like spanx. Tell them you’re glad that they are coming to the wedding, you understand they have *such and such* an issue but its your big day, it IS happening and they will just have to slap on a smile and get over it. [Feel free to be calling them all sorts of bad words in your head while you’re playing nice]

Try and avoid forming Cold Fish Schools. If Mum/Dad/person has any sort of issue they will naturally gravitate to other like-minded cold fish so they can spread their fishyness all over your big beautiful day. Plan your tables, seating, strategy to keep them apart and keep all your happy vibed up – excited for you – friends in on it too.

5 words – Blame it on the Boogie. That song is like a pot of pure liquid sunshine in an ipod. Anyone who does not get on the dance floor because “they just can’t control their feet” is not worth your time.

You know what…

Its your day, your time, your life. Screw them and get on with happy!

Wed By Kez – Ninja Celebrant

You may not know this about me, but I am a ninja!

Not in the wikipedia sense of the word, save for one beautiful similarity. When it comes to wedding photography I am no where to be seen.

And thats the way, ah huh ah huh, I like it.

Too often at wedding ceremonies there is the Celebrant smack bang in the middle of the couple, and right at the heart of every photo their photographer will take. Sure photographer got skills, but shooting around a big melon like mine* ain’t easy!

So how do I avoid the lens?

Wed-By-Kez-Newcastle-Celebrant-

Rare Kez Photo taken by Popcorn Photography

Well sometimes, I can’t!. Especially when the couple have to do their vows or say something. However, for the majority of the ceremony I stand off to the side and slightly in front of the couple. I do this for  two reasons:

  1. The photographer can frame me out of any photos easily enough
  2. If the couple getting married are looking my way, they are actually facing their guests and everyone gets to see the tears, laughs and love!

So there you have it. Now you see me, now you don’t! Book Ninja Kez for your ceremony!

 

 

 

 

*It is true I have a big head. At 61cm I am well above the average human and destined to never wear dainty lady hats!

Who’s in charge?

Getting married is one of the happiest, most romantic, joyous moments of your life.

Organising a wedding can be one of the most stressful, frustrating and painful experiences if you are not careful. When else in your life do you have to co-ordinate a large number of people, catering, music, dresses, cars, flowers etc etc? (If you are an event planner this blog post does not apply to you as you obviously do such things every day of your working life :)) Read more

Tradition gets the Big Finger

Article by Brittany Stack – appeared in SMH 6/6/2010

ANOTHER bridge has been built across the gender divide, with “men-gagement” rings an emerging trend in the world of weddings.
No longer is a proposal all about the bride-to-be’s rock: Men are getting their own symbol of the moment. Read more

Wish You Were Here

This article appeared in White magazine Issue #20 2013

“I never imagined walking down the aisle without my father by my side. From my first childhood fantasy of my wedding he was there.”

A wedding is about celebrating the love you have for your partner and the icing on that sweet-tasting wedding cake is having your loved ones join in that celebration. Read more

Wed By Kez

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