This article appeared in White magazine Issue #20 2013
“I never imagined walking down the aisle without my father by my side. From my first childhood fantasy of my wedding he was there.”
A wedding is about celebrating the love you have for your partner and the icing on that sweet-tasting wedding cake is having your loved ones join in that celebration.
When reasons arise why these people can’t be at your wedding there are ways of recognising their significance in your life. The challenge can be reflecting an absent loved one without creating a feeling of melancholy and yet giving due service to their role in your life.
One of the simplest ways is to have the celebrant, or someone close to you, make mention of that person in a way appropriate to their memory.
One bride made mention of their late grandmother’s love of a particular red wine and how she would be toasting to their happiness, which brought a smile to the faces of many at the wedding.
Some choke up at the thought of verbally recognising an absent friend so they prefer other ways that are less likely to result in tears.
A well placed photograph on a chair, or the signing table can be a gentle reminder of those we love who can’t be with us.
Or for those who want to keep their loved ones closer to their hearts, an image in a charm bracelet or tucked into the bouquet can be your own personal statement.
A girlfriend wanted to remember her mother-in-law during her wedding and couldn’t think of a way to do it that wouldn’t result in the Groom becoming emotional.
We had a chat about her mother-in-law and how she had been involved in other family members wedding. It turns out the mother-in-law had a passion for opera and had sung with numerous groups around town.
During the signing of the certificates a recording of Mum-in-law singing was played. For those that knew her they instantly recognised her voice and were able to have a quiet moment of remembrance.
When the dividing factor is distance, or the funds to travel there are simple, cost effective ways to share your day.
One couple set up a skype session to live stream their wedding to family overseas, so that the moment could be shared as it happened.
And for those tech savvy and creative’s, photo galleries and video presentations are all within the realms of possibility. These can either be main features or a subtle accompaniment.
A loved one who has passed, an expecting couple, illness, employment, deployment, whatever the reason, there is no doubt the best present at a wedding is the presence of those we love.
However, when that is not an option it is still possible to remember those we love, and those that love us on a day when all you need is love.