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How to write wedding vows

So in order to try and help you, and remember there are no hard and fast rules about what to say, or how much, here are a few tips and ideas.

One of the questions I get asked is “What about our vows!?”
Actually, sometimes people write vowels by mistake which is pretty funny.

HOW LONG SHOULD MY VOWS BE
The only thing that is important is what you say, not how long they go. The easiest way to say “I Love You” is the three little words. I. LOVE. YOU.
If you want to say a lot, consider having them on paper to read or giving me a copy to have on hand.

WHAT SHOULD I SAY
Whatever the hell you want (but some tips are below)
• Talk about the past, your years together and what they have meant to you.
• Talk about the now, what it means to you to get married and have this amazing person in your life.
• Talk about the future, what are your plans together and what do you want to happen.
• Talk about them, what they mean to you and what your admire about them
• Talk about you, how has knowing them changed your life, improved you or made you learn about yourself.
• Tell them you love them, tell them how happy you are and how often you are going to kiss them over the next 50 years.

SAYING YOUR VOWS
You DO NOT have to memorise your vows. If you do, that is awesome BRAVO! But don’t bust a kidney trying if it really beyond you or causing stress.
Your options are:
• Give me a copy of your vows and I can put them on my iPad and you can read them.
• Give me a copy of your vows and I can read them to you a couple of lines at a time.
• Try and memorise your vows, but still give me a copy so I can help if you get stuck or in trouble when the time comes

SECRET VOWS ?
Some people like to keep their vows a secret from each other, some like to write them together. This is a personal choice and up to the two of you.
If you are keeping them secret send them to me, as an email so I can make sure that they match and balance each other
Consider agreeing on a template or starting and finishing line so that they have the same feel.
If you are writing them together remember that you are different people, as much as you are perfect for each other you each bring something different to the table.
Don’t be afraid to change a few words to make them suit the individual

TRADITIONAL VOWS
You know, the have, hold, love, honour etc. These vows have stood the test of time for a reason. Use them as they are but don’t be afraid to modernise or change them up too.
“Have and hold” could easily become “Stand by your side” or “cuddle endlessly”


TIPS AND POINTERS
Don’t be mushy or overly romantic, especially if that is not how you are as a couple/ person.

Be yourself.

Humour is great but make sure the jokes aren’t insulting and that everyone [including your guests] is in on it .
Have someone you trust run an eye over them if you are really not sure

If you don’t have anything to say; don’t say anything. Personal vows are not legally required. As long as you say the lines required by law you are married.

HOW TO CHANGE IT UP
Here are some examples from my previous clients that show how to change things up a bit..

EXAMPLE 1
(NAME), you are my best friend, you are my home.
I promise to take care of you, to hug you when you’re mad.
I love your warmth, which has taught me to love you no matter what.
I promise I will always be here to keep you cool in the heat.
I look forward to sharing many more winters and summers together.
I promise to love you with all of my heart.
I will always be by your side, laughing with you, crying with you, sharing with you. My heart is yours and will be yours for the rest of my life.

EXAMPLE 2
My dear, my love, you make me happy inside. You are everything to me
and I would sacrifice so much and more for you. I am fairly crazy for you and I know you’re pretty crazy for me too. I have been looking forward to this day for so long now and it is finally here and I suppose these are meant to be vows, so here goes…. I vow to love you….. Love you more than spider-man loves mary jane, more than iron man loves himself, love you more than the hulk loves smashing, than robin loves bat- man. But most of all I promise to love you more… and more each day for the rest of our lives.

EXAMPLE 3
(PERSON 1): NAME , I vow to always be there for you. To help you through your hardships with a positive attitude and plenty of back rubs.

(PERSON 2) : NAME, I vow to never take for granted how lucky I am to have such a generous and compassionate person in my life.

(PERSON 1): I will always honour the sacrifices you have made to start a life and family with me.

(PERSON 2): I will always make our relationship and family my most important priority.

(PERSON 1): I will tell you I love you every day. It will be the last thing I say before I leave and the last thing before we go to sleep.

(PERSON 2) :I will make sure that you always know how much I love you, whether I say it a hundred times a day, or simply show it in a kiss on the forehead or a squeak when you hug me.

(PERSON 1): I vow to always “woah” at things you say and do that make me happy.

(PERSON 2) : I vow to never leave you hangin’.

(perform an awesome Top Gun High Five.)

(PERSON 1): Your heart is beautiful. I will always support the decisions you make to live ethically and the actions your heart tells you to take to make a difference to the world.

(PERSON 2) : I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love.

(PERSON 1): I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love.

How to write vows

One of the questions I get asked is “What about our vows!?” Actually sometimes people write vowels by mistake which is pretty funny. So in order to try and help you, and remember there are no hard and fast rules about what to say, or how much, here are a few tips and ideas. HOW LONG SHOULD MY VOWS BE The only thing that is important is what you say, not how long they go. The easiest way to say “I Love You” is the three little words. I. LOVE. YOU. If you want to say a lot, consider having them on paper to read or giving me a copy to have on hand. WHAT SHOULD I SAY To quote the song “Brave” say what you want to say! • Talk about the past, your years together and what they have meant to you. • Talk about the now, what it means to you to get married and have this amazing person in your life. • Talk about the future, what are your plans together and what do you want to happen. • Talk about them, what they mean to you and what your admire about them • Talk about you, how has knowing them changed your life, improved you or made you learn about yourself. • Tell them you love them, tell them how happy you are and how often you are going to kiss them over the next 50 years. SAYING YOUR VOWS You DO NOT have to memorise your vows. If you do, that is awesome BRAVO! But don’t bust a kidney trying if it it really beyond you or causing stress. Your options are: • Give me a copy of your vows and I can put them on my iPad and you can read them. • Give me a copy of your vows and I can read them to you a couple of lines at a time. • Try and memorise your vows, but still give me a copy so I can help if you get stuck or in trouble when the time comes SECRET VOWS ? Some people like to keep their vows a secret from each other, some like to write them together. This is a personal choice and up to the two of you. If you are keeping them secret send them to me, as a email so I can make sure that they match and balance each other Consider agreeing on a template or starting and finishing line so that they have the same feel. If you are writing them together remember that you are different people, as much as you are perfect for each other you each bring something different to the table. Don’t be afraid to change a few words to make them suit the individual TRADITIONAL VOWS You know, the have, hold, love, honour etc. These vows have stood the test of time for a reason. Use them as they are but don’t be afraid to modernise or change them up too. “Have and hold” could easily become “Stand by your side” or “cuddle endlessly” TIPS AND POINTERS Don’t be mushy or overly romantic, especially if that is not how you are as a couple/ person. Be yourself. Humour is great but make sure the jokes aren’t insulting and that everyone [including your guests] is in on it Have someone you trust run an eye over them if you are really not sure If you don’t have anything to say; don’t say anything. Personal vows are not legally required. As long as you say the lines required by law you are married. HOW TO CHANGE IT UP Here are some examples from my previous clients that show how to change things up a bit.. EXAMPLE 1 (NAME), you are my best friend, you are my home. I promise to take care of you, to hug you when you’re mad. I love your warmth, which has taught me to love you no matter what. I promise I will always be here to keep you cool in the heat. I look forward to sharing many more winters and summers together. I promise to love you with all of my heart. I will always be by your side, laughing with you, crying with you, sharing with you. My heart is yours and will be yours for the rest of my life. EXAMPLE 2 My dear, my love, you make me happy inside. You are everything to me and I would sacrifice so much and more for you. I am fairly crazy for you and I know you’re pretty crazy for me too. I have been looking forward to this day for so long now and it is finally here and I suppose these are meant to be vows, so here goes…. I vow to love you….. Love you more than spider-man loves mary jane, more than iron man loves himself, love you more than the hulk loves smashing, than robin loves bat- man. But most of all I promise to love you more… and more each day for the rest of our lives. EXAMPLE 3 (PERSON 1): NAME , I vow to always be there for you. To help you through your hardships with a positive attitude and plenty of back rubs. (PERSON 2) : NAME, I vow to never take for granted how lucky I am to have such a generous and compassionate person in my life. (PERSON 1): I will always honour the sacrifices you have made to start a life and family with me. (PERSON 2): I will always make our relationship and family my most important priority. (PERSON 1): I will tell you I love you every day. It will be the last thing I say before I leave and the last thing before we go to sleep. (PERSON 2) :I will make sure that you always know how much I love you, whether I say it a hundred times a day, or simply show it in a kiss on the forehead or a squeak when you hug me. (PERSON 1): I vow to always “woah” at things you say and do that make me happy. (PERSON 2) : I vow to never leave you hangin’. (perform an awesome Top Gun High Five.) (PERSON 1): Your heart is beautiful. I will always support the decisions you make to live ethically and the actions your heart tells you to take to make a difference to the world. (PERSON 2) : I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love. (PERSON 1): I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love.

How to pick a good celebrant

Ask around. Someone will know someone who had or knows a celebrant. But make sure you ask for an opinion from the person making the recommendation. Were you at the wedding? What was the reaction from the guests? If they were the couple getting married what were they like to worth with? Did they answer emails promptly, were they nice, did they listen to what you wanted?

Google / facebook and insta stalk BUT look at the reviews/recommendations. Are people using words like “amazing celebrant”, “best day ever”, “perfect ceremony” or are they just so so (or even negative reviews).

Shop around. Look at a lot of websites. Read whats on them. You’ll get a vibe for what type of celebrant they are and if you might be interested in meeting with them.

Phone or skype them. It’s a great first step into decided whether or not your want to do a face to face. Have a quick 5 on the phone and if the vibe is good you might want to…

Meet face to face. If you’re not in love with them after all the of the above, chances are you are not going to be in love after meeting with them BUT if you are 99.9% of the way there or choosing between your top two a face to face chat can help you make the decision that’s right for you.

At the moment, there are over 9,000 celebrants in Australia. Every one of them has something to offer, a price they charge, and a way they do things. If what they do, matches what you want, then you have found your perfect celebrant! Book ‘em Danno!

What are the steps to getting married?

  1. Complete the Notice of Intended Marriage and lodge with a marriage celebrant/ registry office no later than 1 month prior to the date of marriage.
  2. Provide appropriate identification and documentation to support the Notice of Intended Marriage.
  3. As close as possible to the date of marriage sign a Declaration of No Legal Impediment.
  4. Participate in a marriage ceremony, performed by a Registered Civil Marriage Celebrant, that includes all required wording under the Marriage Act and is witnessed by at least two people over the age of 18, not including the celebrant performing the ceremony.

What identification do I need to provide to get married?

BORN IN AUSTRALIA
You will need to show an original Australian Birth Certificate or Australian Passport.

BORN OVERSEAS
You will need to show an original Birth Certificate or Current Overseas Passport.

PREVIOUSLY MARRIED
You will need to show an original Divorce Certificate.

UNABLE TO SUPPLY REQUIRED DOCUMENTS

You may need to complete a Statutory Declaration. It is best to talk to your celebrant about your personal situation and discuss what may be required.

UNDER THE AGE OF 18

You will need to apply through Family Court for approval to marry. It is important to know that only one party to the marriage can be under the age of 18. If both persons are under age the marriage can not occur.

Read about the steps to getting married here

How to kiss on your wedding day

Wed by Kez Kissing Tips 👄👄👄

In Year 8 in the middle of a school music concert I played my first round of serious spin the bottle.🍾🍾🍾

I remember being horrified when Ivan Butcher accused me of trying to “swallow his nose” after we had kissed

In all fairness, I really didn’t know what I was doing and only had episodes of Degrassi Junior High to go on.

Don’t be me on your wedding day.

Here are the few pointers I give my couples when it comes to the suck face time of the actual ceremony.

1) Peck kisses are boring. You peck your Nan, not your lifelong partner. They also look terrible in photos -either giving you duck lips or squash face. No pecks!🦆

2) Count til at least 5 while kissing. Your photographer will love you for the chance to get more than 1 shot, so hang there for a while.⏲️

3) Practise. The night before give it s dress rehearsal (when you’re on your own – not in front of people, that would be weird) Find a dark corner and try a few things until you both agree on what’s going to happen the next day.

Now the don’ts:
No surprises. None. This is one moment where you both need to know what’s going on.

No dips or lifts unless your seriously practice. I mean it, you do not want to end up on a viral youtube video (or maybe you do??!!)

No pornography. Keep the super passionate ass grabbing and tongue licking until the hotel room (If it happens at all, chances are you are going to be waaay to tired for any funny businesses)

Above all Make your kiss count. It IS your first kiss as a married couple. You want your guests to be a little “oooooeeeeoooo” because there’s some heat in that moment.

😗
😗
😘
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What name do you use to sign your marriage certificate?

So you’ve done some paperwork and said some words, nice ones maybe, legal ones definitely and now you’re sitting down after your wedding ceremony ready to sign your new name on your marriage certificate..

BZZZZZ!

I’m afraid that is not the case, and its something that a lot of people get confused about when it comes to get married.

Really, its quite simple.

On the actual day of your ceremony, you sign all three documents with the same name/signature that you used in all the pre-ceremony paperwork that you completed.
So if your name was Mr John Smith and you were planning to take your partner’s name after marriage – you would still sign the marriage certificate as Mr John Smith.
After you are married – if you plan to take your partners name, it’s take a little bit of effort and a bit of running around.
Straight up, no one has to take anyones name legally. Its not a required thing, it comes down to your own personal choice.

If you decide to take your partner’s name or they are taking yours here’s what happens

    1. You apply to BDM in the state that you got married for your Marriage Certificate. This will be mailed to you and is a document that shows the details of your marriage and also has the Registration Number of your marriage in the top right corner.
    2. Using your BDM marriage certificate you present that document at the RTA ( or State Equivalent), Banks, Medicare Office etc and ask them to change your name to your newly married name – its like slipping it on. Once you have enough ID (identifying documents) in your new name, then that is your name.

But what about a legal name change?
This is different to taking a name due to marriage. When you legally change your name – you surrender your birth certificate and are issued a new birth certificate in your new name.

Think of it this way – when you change your name from marriage – you are assuming a new name from the point of marriage – when you legally change your name , you are changing your name from the point of your birth.

What about name change kits?
In my humble, but loud, opinion these are a waste of time. Name change kits still require you to get your BDM marriage certificate and are essentially a mail merge to help you write the appropriate letters to send to organisations along with a certified copy of your BDM marriage certificates. If you want to be $30 plus dollars for something you could easily do yourself, well that’s up to you. But all you are saving is a small amount of time.
In Australia, every single government department (Tax Office, Medicare, Centrelink etc) will require you to provide the appropriate documents (BDM Marriage Certificate) in person to change your name in their database, as will banks, supernnuation, and some utilities.

Things to note:
You can change your passport into your new married name within the first 12 months after your marriage for free, as long as you have more than two years before your passport expires but you still have to put in a new passport application and provide photos. You will also have to surrender your old passport – so keep that in mind if you are planning a honeymoon

You should book your honeymoon in your maiden name (name before marriage) if you are planning to travel immediately after your wedding.

Also the passport office doesn’t love it, if you go ahead and change your drivers license, tax information, gas bill etc and keep your passport in your pre-marriage name. if you are going to go to the effort of changing your name, make sure you include your passport in that list.

A example of place where you will need to change your name is included below:

  • Driver’s License
  • Doctor’s surgery or anywhere that has your medical records
  • Insurance companies
  • Electricity, gas and water providers
  • Passport
  • Tax office
  • Bank
  • Your place of work
  • Your mortgage provider
  • Landlord
  • Mobile phone provider
  • Internet provider
  • Any store cards you may have
  • Breakdown cover (RACQ etc.)
  • Local service providers (hairdressers, dry cleaners, mechanic etc.)
  • Vets
  • Subscriptions (magazines, Netflix etc.)
  • Memberships (such as the gym etc.)

This is not the most important day of your life

…but it could be the most fun.

I know it’s hard to believe right now, in the middle of all your planning for your special day, that is ONE day is not actually going to be the biggest or most important of your life.
But I’m going to tell you some hard, true facts – that in the end might actually help you have a more amazing time on your wedding day.

If you are putting all your energy into having a “perfect” day you are wasting your time, and most certainly not going to enjoy yourself.

I’ve seen it happen. Couples fretting over flower arrangements that aren’t perfectly centered or a random strand of hair bringing girls to tears because it just won’t do as its told (or sprayed!)

In truth, as celebrant who as performed over 600 ceremonies, I can speak with some authority. The most fun, most enjoyable and most “perfect” weddings are the ones that are focused on having a good time ,a great day and getting married.

The couples that see the wedding as a moment to celebrate but not THE END ALL MOMENT.

So here are my tops tips as to how to make your wedding day less stressful, more awesome.

  1. Accept that you are not a God and you cannot control the weather. Rain Happens. Plan for it and be happy to use that plan B if you need to
  2. You almost certainly will not be able to time everything so you are walking down the aisle to that particular lyric in the particular part of the song you want, so don’t try. Be happy music is playing and be focused on the person who is waiting for you at the end of that aisle. Even if music isn’t playing – you are still just about to get married.
  3. Only one person in the audience will care/notice if the people wearing suits in the bridal party don’t have their buttons done the same way.
  4. You DO You. Seriously. In all your planning if your main focus is staying true to yourselves as a couple, and not what you saw on instagram your ceremony/ day will totally rock. (Sidebar: ***k everyone elses opinions, choices, comments !)

Finally, Love overcomes any mishaps. If the two of your are saying beautiful words and looking at each other like there is nothing else that matters in the world – no one will give a rats ass what you’re wearing, how your hair looks, the venue, the flowers, the music, even the celebrant (!!!) Love has this amazing ability to take you and all your guests on an emotional rollercoaster of a ride.

Be in love, be happy to get married and your day will be perfect, I promise you!

 

What does a celebrant cost?

Look – there’s an elephant. In a dress.
Maybe we should ad-dress the elephant. See what I did there?
Let’s talk about what Celebrants cost 💵💵💵 or really how much does it cost to get married?

Look the truth be told talking about money is generally seen to be a bit of a taboo and talking about what other celebrants charge is (I believe) generally none of my business – but I can tell you what I charge and I can tell you why.

I became a celebrant in 2009 – and at that time I was charging around the $450 mark to perform a wedding. I was fresh, I was inexperienced and that seemed about right for the market at the time.

Now if we were just dealing with a normal inflation rate of 2.2 perfect in 2017 I would have been charging around $535 to perform a ceremony in 2017.
In actual fact I was charge $800 to perform ceremonies in 2017, and from 2018 and beyond my price starts from $850.

So why the big leap?

Well a number of things but the most important thing of all was I started to value my skill set as a celebrant.
In the (almost) 10 years I have been doing weddings, sure my expenses have increased as I gathered equipment, marketed my business , designed my website etc but you know what else increased?

My confidence ✅ my experience ✅ and my knowledge of what to do in any situation ✅ literally ANY situation…
from the “my mum just had a mental breakdown about our surprise wedding that I didn’t tell her about” to the “my two year old flower girl just pooped her pants walking down the aisle” 💩💩💩💩💩💩 (True story)

Not to mention the “my chief bridesmaid just split her dress” to the oh no moment of “woops I forgot to bring my passport can we please still get married today?*”
See, that’s what I bring and make no mistake it is a skill – pretty much nothing has thrown me when performing a wedding (and I’ve seen a bride naked!)

I can rock up on your day and roll with whatever last minute changes have to happen because its YOUR day – not mine. I don’t tell you how to run it and I don’t freak or say no when you tell me your Aunt wants to do a last minute poem. I just write down her name and slot her in where I can.
You might not think I’m worth what I charge, and that is fine. Don’t book me. You have that choice, find your awesome at your price – there are lots of celebrants out there and they all charge differently.

But I have a pretty good wrap sheet – in fact my facebook/google ratings tell the story.

I’m like the Loreal of celebrants…. The Fifth Harmony if you will… Baby I’m worth it 😉

*to which of course the answer was no, but we can have a commitment ceremony instead and do the marrying when you show me your passport.

The Wedding Rings

All your engaged ladies, all you engaged ladies, and men, and those whose sexual orientation and/or gender identity varies, those who may not self-identify as LGBT, basically every single person in this colourful universe that wants to have some sort of wedding ceremony.

I’m going to say something that may shock you. Be prepared.

Beyonce is a liar.

There I said it, and it is true.

Because even if you do like it. You do NOT have to put a ring on it.

 

Wed By Kez

#professional #fun #modern #young #wedbykez #celebrant