So in order to try and help you, and remember there are no hard and fast rules about what to say, or how much, here are a few tips and ideas.
One of the questions I get asked is “What about our vows!?”
Actually, sometimes people write vowels by mistake which is pretty funny.
HOW LONG SHOULD MY VOWS BE
The only thing that is important is what you say, not how long they go. The easiest way to say “I Love You” is the three little words. I. LOVE. YOU.
If you want to say a lot, consider having them on paper to read or giving me a copy to have on hand.
WHAT SHOULD I SAY
Whatever the hell you want (but some tips are below)
• Talk about the past, your years together and what they have meant to you.
• Talk about the now, what it means to you to get married and have this amazing person in your life.
• Talk about the future, what are your plans together and what do you want to happen.
• Talk about them, what they mean to you and what your admire about them
• Talk about you, how has knowing them changed your life, improved you or made you learn about yourself.
• Tell them you love them, tell them how happy you are and how often you are going to kiss them over the next 50 years.
SAYING YOUR VOWS
You DO NOT have to memorise your vows. If you do, that is awesome BRAVO! But don’t bust a kidney trying if it really beyond you or causing stress.
Your options are:
• Give me a copy of your vows and I can put them on my iPad and you can read them.
• Give me a copy of your vows and I can read them to you a couple of lines at a time.
• Try and memorise your vows, but still give me a copy so I can help if you get stuck or in trouble when the time comes
SECRET VOWS ?
Some people like to keep their vows a secret from each other, some like to write them together. This is a personal choice and up to the two of you.
If you are keeping them secret send them to me, as an email so I can make sure that they match and balance each other
Consider agreeing on a template or starting and finishing line so that they have the same feel.
If you are writing them together remember that you are different people, as much as you are perfect for each other you each bring something different to the table.
Don’t be afraid to change a few words to make them suit the individual
You know, the have, hold, love, honour etc. These vows have stood the test of time for a reason. Use them as they are but don’t be afraid to modernise or change them up too.
“Have and hold” could easily become “Stand by your side” or “cuddle endlessly”
TIPS AND POINTERS
Don’t be mushy or overly romantic, especially if that is not how you are as a couple/ person.
Humour is great but make sure the jokes aren’t insulting and that everyone [including your guests] is in on it .
Have someone you trust run an eye over them if you are really not sure
If you don’t have anything to say; don’t say anything. Personal vows are not legally required. As long as you say the lines required by law you are married.
HOW TO CHANGE IT UP
Here are some examples from my previous clients that show how to change things up a bit..
(NAME), you are my best friend, you are my home.
I promise to take care of you, to hug you when you’re mad.
I love your warmth, which has taught me to love you no matter what.
I promise I will always be here to keep you cool in the heat.
I look forward to sharing many more winters and summers together.
I promise to love you with all of my heart.
I will always be by your side, laughing with you, crying with you, sharing with you. My heart is yours and will be yours for the rest of my life.
My dear, my love, you make me happy inside. You are everything to me
and I would sacrifice so much and more for you. I am fairly crazy for you and I know you’re pretty crazy for me too. I have been looking forward to this day for so long now and it is finally here and I suppose these are meant to be vows, so here goes…. I vow to love you….. Love you more than spider-man loves mary jane, more than iron man loves himself, love you more than the hulk loves smashing, than robin loves bat- man. But most of all I promise to love you more… and more each day for the rest of our lives.
(PERSON 1): NAME , I vow to always be there for you. To help you through your hardships with a positive attitude and plenty of back rubs.
(PERSON 2) : NAME, I vow to never take for granted how lucky I am to have such a generous and compassionate person in my life.
(PERSON 1): I will always honour the sacrifices you have made to start a life and family with me.
(PERSON 2): I will always make our relationship and family my most important priority.
(PERSON 1): I will tell you I love you every day. It will be the last thing I say before I leave and the last thing before we go to sleep.
(PERSON 2) :I will make sure that you always know how much I love you, whether I say it a hundred times a day, or simply show it in a kiss on the forehead or a squeak when you hug me.
(PERSON 1): I vow to always “woah” at things you say and do that make me happy.
(PERSON 2) : I vow to never leave you hangin’.
(perform an awesome Top Gun High Five.)
(PERSON 1): Your heart is beautiful. I will always support the decisions you make to live ethically and the actions your heart tells you to take to make a difference to the world.
(PERSON 2) : I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love.
(PERSON 1): I vow that no matter where life takes us, no matter what challenges lay ahead, that you will be my partner: my equal, my constant, my complement, my baby. My love.