I found this old blog from my original website… one of the very first I ever wrote so I thought I would share again. Back when I was a bit more sharp-tongued I think 🙂
There is something about a wedding that blows perspective out of proportion. Especially when it comes to deciding who actually attends the wedding.
When your guests list starts to rival the credits for Ben Hur Beware! You’re in danger of falling victim to some classic wedding etiquette furfies.
The have-to invites
It’s called nutting out a wedding list because it can drive you completely nuts. Especially when you have a long list of “have-to’s” so called because when they become a part of your invite list it is normally pre-empted by the phrase “Oh But you have-to invite…..”. These people can be family friends, work colleagues or even relations. No one has passed a law about who has to be at your wedding and if they do.. I’ll blog about it.
The Long Lost
For some reason the lure of wedding will entice long lost distance uncles, aunts, cousins out of the closet and onto your wedding list like the smell of bacon tempts contestants on “The Biggest Loser.” You may share acommonDNA strain but a wedding full of your 2nd and 3rd Cousins twice removed will ensure you Don’t-kNow-Anyone on your big day.
Doing it for the kids
More fights have broken out over whether or not to invite children to a wedding than over “Who gets to play Barbies first!”. Children are a blessing, in fact the majority of wedding happen with the plans for future procreation but there are no rules as to whose kids you invite and whose you don’t. Those who have chosen to increase the population of our great nation are well aware of the restrictions it can put on their social life…. the same way you should be aware that having children means your friends are not always available for a trip to the local for a quite vino. Those who can find babysitters will, those who can’t, won’t come. It’s up to you to make the call about whether that matters.
The Not Invited
Horror stories areabundanton wedding websites and forums about the “uninvited.” Kids, Cousins, Partners or any sneaky guest on your wedding day who wasn’t supposed to be there but somehow just were. Wedding Crashers are not as fun as Vince Vaughan and Owen Wilson and you are going to regret paying for them to get plastered if you don’t say anything. If they are not down on the overpriced piece of card that was your wedding invitation – then they are not meant to be in a tux and drinking your bar tab.If you are inviting someone to share one of the most special days of your life, I would assume they are special to you and should understand your reasoning for the number restrictions.
Finally approach your guest list the same way you approach a home loan. Research, communicate and make damn sure you know what you are getting into before you sign anything. The one thing that is considered bad etiquetteis uninviting.
