You might not know this, but as a celebrant Im often aware, sometimes not everyone is super happy that a couple are getting married.
These people, known as asses to some and cold fish by me, are generally all about ruining what should be a beautiful, loving moment in a couples life.
And I have seen the iciest of cold fish in my 400 + weddings.
Often, unfortunately, its someone close to either the bride or groom, [groom and groom or bride and bride] who objects to the wedding and generally has to have their resting-bitch-face or screwed-up-i-smell-poo nose on.
It can be as subtle as a Mum and Dad standing awkwardly to the side, keeping to themselves and not glowing with excitement, pride and love or as obvious as a “They didn’t come to the wedding”.
Sometimes, they come to the wedding cos they think that is what they are “supposed” to do. That’s it is “the right thing” when really they suck all the fun out of the ceremony/reception like a giant fun-sucking gnat that they are.
So here’s my tips on dealing with Cold Fish ahead of your big day.
Don’t be afraid to UNinvite someome. If they are truly only coming to cause you pain, anxiety or distress – save yourself the energy and some dough and strike a big, fat, permanent marker line through their name.
Talk to them before the wedding. You want to be gentle but firm – like spanx. Tell them you’re glad that they are coming to the wedding, you understand they have *such and such* an issue but its your big day, it IS happening and they will just have to slap on a smile and get over it. [Feel free to be calling them all sorts of bad words in your head while you’re playing nice]
Try and avoid forming Cold Fish Schools. If Mum/Dad/person has any sort of issue they will naturally gravitate to other like-minded cold fish so they can spread their fishyness all over your big beautiful day. Plan your tables, seating, strategy to keep them apart and keep all your happy vibed up – excited for you – friends in on it too.
5 words – Blame it on the Boogie. That song is like a pot of pure liquid sunshine in an ipod. Anyone who does not get on the dance floor because “they just can’t control their feet” is not worth your time.
You know what…
