Make no mistake. Marriages are still happening even in this time of social distancing and #stayathome. At the time of writing this article the current restrictions in NSW allow marriages to go ahead under the following conditions: No more than 5 people. That means the two people getting married, the celebrant and two witnesses. No babies, no kids, no mothers in law, no photographers (unless that photographer is acting as one of the witnesses). The ceremonies are short and to the point. There is no such thing as a 45 minute wedding in the park. It is quick, it is simple and it is possible to have a wonderful moment and enjoy getting married.
Right now, as things remain uncertain and couples are deciding how they will handle their upcoming wedding day (postpone or go ahead with just the bare minimum allowed) Talor and Tim shared their experience of having a marriage ceremony on the 4th April COVID-19 style.
When / how did you make the decision to go ahead?
As soon as we knew we were going to have to postpone the wedding, we knew we weren’t going to postpone the ceremony. We were going to get married. We only needed the two of us (and legally 3 more). But it wasn’t an easy decision to stick with, and I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t any tears. There were tears. There were SO many tears. I think the pressure comes from not wanting to disappoint or upset others. Feeling guilty that they can’t be included in your special day.
Like I said though, you only need the two of you. Marriage after all is just two people telling each other that they’re going to love each other for the rest of their lives. Whether it was in front of 3 other people or 85, we love each other, and we’re in it for the long haul.
How did you decide who would be there….?
We decided to have one of my best friend’s and her husband. This was probably the toughest decision we had to make because we both desperately wanted our own parents there, but agreed we couldn’t have one set without the other. We considered siblings, but with 4 of them between us and one was in isolation having just returned from overseas, we ruled that out also. We thought in this case, it was easiest to have friends. This in itself was another difficult situation, but the couple we chose are like family to us, and they honestly cemented why we chose them on the day. They went above and beyond to make it as special as the possibly could given the circumstances.
How did your friends and family react when they heard that you were going ahead…
We only told our parents to start with, and they were over the moon. We decided to tell some friends, mainly on the bride’s side. That was…bitter sweet. I think they were happy that we were getting wed, but upset that they weren’t there to see it. Which was fair, and you can’t take it personally. True friends will support your decisions, and hold your hand (whether physically or via spirit) as you make it. I think you prepare for the worst, and hope for the best when telling anyone about something like this. 9/10 times I think you’ll get a positive reaction.
What plans have you got in place in the future?
Next April, put your dancing shoes on and get a glass of champagne! We’re going to party! We’re throwing a whole wedding, we’ll have a commitment ceremony/vow renewal and reception following, just as we had planned for our original date.
We didn’t tell anyone else until afterwards, when we then shared a video of the ceremony, that was welcomed with nothing but positivity, not one person had anything negative to say. Everyone was really happy, and they’re all really looking forward to celebrating!
Have you found it hard to reschedule/rebook all your wedding services? How have they been to work with?
I think it’s important here, to stand in their shoes. Remove yourself as the bride that for 12-24 months (if not longer) of planning has come to nothing, the anticipation, the emotional toll, everything, disregard it for a moment. For majority of our vendors, they’re looking at zero income for 6+ months, but they still have overheads, whether they’re business related or personal.
So, not everyone was happy about rescheduling, especially to another Saturday. Most suggested a weekday, to keep their weekends open for new couples. A weekday though was not suitable for us, or our guests. Thankfully we were able to reschedule all our vendors but one to a Saturday in April next year with no additional costs than the original invoices (YAY). There was one vendor that was happy to reschedule, but for an additional cost which was equivalent to another deposit amount.. and at present we haven’t decided what we’ll do here….
We’re still in lock down.. what’s your plan to celebrate? For the future?
Oooh. It’s hard to celebrate in lock down. But, take the time to do it. Set up a picnic in the backyard, or in the living room, hang some fairy lights, get uber eats – or if you want to be fancy, Subo are doing three course meals delivered. I don’t think you have to do anything grand, but take time to appreciate each other. We have a two year old, so whatever romantic celebrations we plan, it has to be a post 8pm kinda deal. Otherwise we’re going to have to entertain an unwanted third wheel.
For the future – honeymoon! We thought about doing our honeymoon after the celebration next April, but decided we’re going do it before hand, once this whole isolation period is over. Going to get on that plan and have a that time to ourselves, child free. Really soak in that married life. We still will probably do something after the celebration date too, maybe go somewhere local for 1 or 2 nights. The world’s our oyster.
